Things that are also other Things

Sprouts: the only vegetable that is also a verb.
Anthony Flew: the only philosopher whose name is also a sentence.

I could do this all day, but I don’t think I will.

iCock / Truth in Advertising

Behold, the absurdly hyperbolic, masturbatory advertainment featurette for the ‘iPad’, which is like a giant iPhone that isn’t a phone, an iPod that doesn’t play music, a laptop without a keyboard, and some other fancy stuff you didn’t know could fill a hole in your life that a multinational corporation have just dug and convinced you it’s always been there. Watching this advert, you’d think that Apple have just invented the wheel, the printing press; discovered fire, penicillin, electricity and radio; sent the first astronauts to the moon and found a way for human beings to lick their own elbows, in a single afternoon.

Death, by Chocolate

Like all Englishmen, I presume, I am reacting to the news of a prospective takeover of Cadbury by an American-owned company, with a sense of enormous trepidation, abject panic and intolerable despair.

When hearts attack.

Excuse me, can I interest you in a free Healthy Heart Check? It’ll only take five minutes of your time.

Look at the Size of This

So there’s been a lot of this white stuff falling from the sky recently, and now it’s stuck to the ground and showing no intentions of going anywhere. Here I am as I walk through some of it, with a triumphant scarf and face that expresses resistance and determination:

Post Rating

It is now possible to rate my postings, using the universally recognised “star” system, whereby you judge each post as worth of a certain number of stars from 1 – 5; 1 being bad, 5 being super-good. To use this system, simply click on the title of the post you are reading, then select the number of stars of your choice, from just beneath the title. I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to do that. For every single post The OPINION has ever seen.

—————-
Now playing: Philip Jeck – PS Two
via FoxyTunes

Troubled Beginning to New Decade for Local Aquatic Population

Happy new oh dear. Behold the sudden temporary accommodation for John Locke, Benjamin Linus and Jacob:

Human Pyramids: A Comparative Study.

Today we are going to study the human pyramid and what it means.  Here is a typical example of a human pyramid taken from the first page of a google image search:

Spoken For.

First they came for the mime artists,
but I didn’t speak up, because I was a mime artist.

Then they came for the chainsaw jugglers,
but I didn’t speak up, because I was juggling chainsaws and needed to concentrate.

Then they came for the chainsaw-juggling Trappist monks,
but I didn’t speak up, because I was a Trappist monk, juggling chainsaws, and not only did I need to concentrate on said juggling but also if I had spoken up, this would have been a violation of my holy vows.

Then they came specifically for me,
but I didn’t speak up because they were actually very attractive and I wanted to go with them anyway. Also, I honestly believed up until this point that I was the only chainsaw-juggling, mime artist Trappist monk in the world, and that’s a very lonely existence.

Considered Opinions (Patience)

During my time in Krakow for this year’s UNSOUND festival, snippets, clips, pictures, thoughts and impressions in their immediacy will be posted on my facebook page and/or twitter

More thoughtful considerations will appear here, retrospectively. For now, please enjoy this picture of the view from my hotel window:

This picture does not do Krakow justice, let me tell you. It doesn’t actually do itself justice, to be honest. It’s just the first one I took and therefore has a certain authenticity that you might care about.