Let’s investigate further this recent phenomenon of processed foodstuffs appearing outdoors as a result of apparently (super)natural processes.
What the heckers?
Tea bags??!!
It was at this point that my suspicions mutated into fears. The baked bean geysers, rare though they are, are at least well-documented natural-enough phenomena – but tea bags falling from the sky? Or worse, someone (most likely an English person, this being England) intentionally dropping tea bags onto wet tarmac, thus rendering them useless to even the most desperate and/or tight-fisted tea bag recycler/fetishist? That can only be a portent of imminent peril.
Two to six days later, in Middleton:
Chips. Slightly undercooked, perhaps, but still teetering on the precipice of edible (desperate times, brothers and sisters, there’s apparently a recession coming).
“It seems that events are larger than the moment in which they occur and cannot be entirely contained in it”
- Marcel Proust, The Fugitive, p458
If I were you, I’d do your level best to look superior.
There’s safety in arrogance. Not in numbers, no. Not anymore. Recession coming, remember?
1 Comment
April 10, 2008 at 8:59 am
Jonny, I think you would have the most visited website on the tinternet were you to devote it entirely to this phenomenon. So better not. You don’t want the riff raff in.
I’m appalled by the waste of tea, but your use of “what the heckers?” more than redeems the world.