Biscuits aren’t normally the sort of thing I keep in the house because it’s very easy for someone like me to eat a whole packet in one sitting and very difficult, well, not to do that. There are two types of people in the world: those who can eat only one biscuit, and those who can’t eat only one biscuit. Scientific studies conclusively bear this out, I reckon. Anyroad, this Christmas I’ve come home from my parents’ with two bonus packets of biscuits, and I’ve put them in a kitchen cupboard I rarely frequent (it contains only a sandwich toaster, and I find toasted sandwiches revolting). The next step is to try and forget about them which is, as we all know, impossible. On the other hand, the world ended last weekend, so maybe not.
I really want to forget about the biscuits so that weeks from now I’ll come across them in the cupboard and thereby enjoy a genuine and satisfyingly mundane surprise. When sugar and artificial foodstuffs are concerned, it remains to be see how easily such surprise can be achieved.
What do you think, dear readers? Have any opinions? How can you intentionally forget about something? What, ultimately, is memory? What, ultimately, are biscuits?
I often leave dollar bills in my winter coat pockets to be found the following year. Same premise. Only works some years. Usually the years where it isn’t done on purpose. Occasionally the year where I place money in several coats at different times, only to genuinely forget which coat and what amount. It’s a mild surprise because you know it’s coming… eventually. But I like it. Good luck forgetting. I recommend adding a third package and tucking it in the very back of the refrigerator, possibly behind the large jar of pickles inevitably found in most fridges.
What’s the expiry date?